2 Thessalonians 3:10 ESV
For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.

Or receive free housing.  Or receive a paycheck every week.  Or be provided with a cell phone.  Or receive free healthcare.

And then, if someone is willing to work very very hard and create a successful business that provides work for others let us not tell them how much money they are allowed to have just because we have less than they do.

Romans 4:4 ESV
Now to the one who works, his wages are not counted as a gift but as his due.

In an era of Facebook

Once upon a time communication entailed Person A standing within hearing distance of Person B and speaking words. Upon listening to those words, Person B would respond with more spoken words.  Person A would then in turn respond.  It was called a conversation.  People would express thoughts, feelings, or observations to a single person or group of people.  This strange concept of communication resulted in relationships forming between people.  When something rude or insulting was said, there was an immediate reaction to the giver of the insult who would then consider his or her words.  The insulter (gasp!) realized something rude or insulting had been said.  What therefore followed was either 1.) Guilt or 2.) More insults. Very rarely, the guilty one even apologized.  Sometimes, the conversation evolved into arguing or physical altercations.  Then the two live human beings would go back to whatever they were doing before the conversation started.  Assuming they were both still breathing. 

Fast forward to present day. More often, communication now resembles this:  Person A types on Facebook:  I don’t like the color blue.  Person B skims Person A’s words, gets off the computer and texts Person C:  Person A doesn’t like the blue shirt Person D was wearing today.  Person C then calls Person D and says, “Person A doesn’t like you because you wore a blue shirt today and thinks you’re totally lame.”  Person D cries all night and then tells everyone they know what a jerk Person A is.  Person A has no idea why no one likes them.  Then some random blogger tells the whole world we aren’t allowed to say the word blue anymore because it hurt someone’s feelings some time, some where.

 Young adults, and some adults not so young, go hours and days without physical interaction with other live human beings (but hopefully not dead ones either).  E-mail, texting, Facebook, Twitter, smart phones, tablets, and TV all have made passive-aggressive communication more and more prevalent.  Common courtesy is often replaced by rudeness and snide comments.  Thoughts you would never dream of speaking to another person fly right past your fingertips to the keyboard for all the world to see.  In our evolving culture, effort has become something to be rid of, not something to be desired.  Patience and discipline recede into the background to the sound of instantly brewing coffee and the never ending notifications of a smartphone.  And if anything requires effort, patience, and discipline, it is the act of holding your tongue.

Do most still try to think before speaking, or has that been lost in translation in a world of MB and RAM? (These abbreviations are probably becoming obsolete even as I type). Thinking before tapping away at the keyboard seems to have dwindled even further.  Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.  Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.  (Proverbs 17:27-28 ESV), and, A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.  (Proverbs 18:2 ESV)  We haven’t just forgotten to think before we speak, but we have lost even the patience to listen to the other half of the conversation. 

It takes no discipline or discernment to speak every fleeting thought that passes its way through the mind. Are unfiltered comments becoming trendy?  If so, I fervently hope that we will steer clear of that particular trend.  God’s word has never been, and will never be, trendy.  Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.  For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.  (Matthew 7:13-14 ESV)

Consider your words, whether written or spoken.  Do they have a purpose?  Do they build up and give life to the hearer?  So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. (James 3:2-10 ESV)

Join with me to be better.  To do better.  To have our spoken and written examples be a shining light in the darkness of a corrupt generation.  To show our children that the path to our Lord may be narrow, but not impossible.  That Christians consider others before they speak, and listen that they may gain understanding.  That it takes strength and courage to confess when we are in the wrong.  LORD, may my tongue not speak evil, but bring others always nearer to you. 

I want to remember.

When this season of life passes,  I want to remember what it was like to have a shadow all day long.  I want to remember what it was like to never finish a task the first time I started it.  I want to remember the joy a baby's smile brings it's mama.  I want to remember the lack of silence ALL DAY LONG.  I want to remember how fast they grow out of their clothes.   I want to remember how I longed for five minutes to sip my coffee before it gets to the nasty lukewarm stage.  I want to remember the frustration when no one picks up after themselves.   I want to remember wishing I had more time.  More time.  And more time.  Mostly more time without a baby or small child insisting on mama's attention.   Like right now.    I want to remember the guilt felt when I went on a date or had a girl's night because I had already left them to go to work three days that week.  I want to remember trying to teach them respect and to have a good attitude in a culture that doesn't value them.  I want to remember wishing other adults would hold them to the same standard of behavior that I expect from them and that they are capable of.  I want to remember that some days (and weeks) you had to let the house go because other things are more important.  I want to remember what its like for someone to cook you dinner.  Just because.  I want to remember sitting in the driveway, just to complete a conversation without a chorus in the background.   I want to remember the ache of holding a deadweight in your arms all day long when they are teething.   I want to remember what it feels like for people to comment on your weight.   I want to remember the isolation.  I want to remember what it feels like for the smallest thing to seem like a mountain.  I want to remember I was not the world's best mother. I want to remember I did not have all the answers.   I want to remember the days I felt like a failure.   I want to remember craving time to study my bible.  I want to remember the women who made life a little bit easier.  I want to remember to show love, patience, and grace to other new mama's when my own are grown and remind them their time is not wasted.  They are raising another generation to serve the Lord.

Basement

Basement bedroom and bathroom are now complete.  We'll be taking a brief hiatus for awhile.

A lesson in grief

A little off my usual postings on house renovating.

Grief generally comes at some point in our lives here on earth.  It may come early or late, often or seldom.  It can feel solitary and overwhelming.  We don’t get over the loss of someone, but we have to learn to live with that loss.  How do I live with the loss, if I haven’t been taught?  I read in 1 Thessalonians 4:13 that we don’t grieve as others do that have no hope.  Yet I still grieve.  I still feel the pain of loss.  So I pray for God to comfort me, to take away my pain.  Where can I find comfort better than in God’s word?  God has written more than one sentence for me to read and apply to my life.  So I search. 

(Isa 41:10)  Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

(Psa 73:26)  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

My heart may feel like it has failed, but God is the strength of my heart and I know that all things are possible with Him.  He will give me strength to endure.

(Gen 37:34)  Then Jacob tore his garments and put sackcloth on his loins and mourned for his son many days.

(Gen 37:35)  All his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted and said, "No, I shall go down to Sheol to my son, mourning." Thus his father wept for him.

(Deu 34:8)  And the people of Israel wept for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days. Then the days of weeping and mourning for Moses were ended.

(Num 20:29)  And when all the congregation saw that Aaron had perished, all the house of Israel wept for Aaron thirty days.

There is a biblical example of the people of Israel weeping for thirty days upon the deaths of Moses and Aaron on two separate occasions.  Reading through the Old Testament makes it seem that they were constantly tearing their clothes and putting on sackcloth and ashes.  Did I take enough time for weeping and mourning?  Or am I concealing what I see as unpleasant and uncontrolled emotion and succumbing to depression and anxiety? Do I grieve in silence, or do I share my grief and let God’s children comfort me?  Have I let the world dictate what is acceptable to me or have I looked at how God’s people have grieved?

(Ecc 3:1)  For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

(Ecc 3:2)  a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

(Ecc 3:3)  a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

(Ecc 3:4)  a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

There IS a time to die, a time to break down, a time to weep and a time to mourn.  And that may be the time I am living in right now.  But there is also a time to heal and a time to build myself up.  And that time will come.  In the midst of pain, it’s hard to even consider the time of laughter and dancing.

(Php 3:13)  Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,

(Php 3:14)  I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Sometimes it feels impossible to forget what lies behind, especially painful memories.  I have read this passage with thoughts of being comforted before, but reading it in a different light brings another application to the passage.  Yes, we are always to strive for our eternal prize, but immersing ourselves in spiritual things and thoughts gives us more strength to if not forget, then lessen the pain and sorrow of this life.

(Psa 119:50)  This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life.

(Psa 119:92)  If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction.

(Rev 21:4)  He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."

God’s promise endures if we will accept it.  Can we find the comfort in the midst of our grief to know that it will not endure?  God has promised us eternal life, a life with no more tears or mourning or pain.  Yet in this promise, we see that there is a time for crying and mourning.  It is not a weakness, or a lack of faith that we will see our loved ones again.  God’s people mourn as a natural expression of the love that we have for each other and that the object of that love is now gone from this life.  The pain of loss eventually turns into the comfort of healing.

(2Pe 1:3)  His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence.

Sometimes we just remember that He has given us all things that pertain to godliness and forget the fact that He has given us all things that pertain to life as well.  We may feel alone in our grief, and there may not be a single person that we feel understands.  Nevertheless, we have something better, we have a Father that not only lost His son, he has given us the avenue of prayer to talk to Him day or night, and all the hours in between.

(Php 4:6)  do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

(Php 4:7)  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

God instructs us to pray and petition Him with our requests.  What other time do we need the peace of God to guard our hearts and minds more, than when they are consumed by grief?

We may see our loved ones again, but it still hurts now.  We may feel alone, but God is there.  We may be in the time of mourning, but we can take comfort in the fact that one day will be the time for healing.  It might not be today, and it might not be tomorrow, but it WILL come.  And one day, when our pain is not so great, we may need to reach down and bring it back out to help someone else find their way into the time of healing.

Return to Nasty Ash

We are mid-renovation in the basement bathroom but I am going to hold you on the edge of your seat.  Yes, the shower is almost complete, but i like shock value.  In fact, I will revise that and say that I am a huge fan of shock value.  Therefore, I will show you the inordinately entertaining photos of demolition.  And it WAS as fun as it looks.  First if you will recall the horror I purchased.  Ugh. Gross.

When we started tearing stuff out we found this:

Anyone have any ideas what it could be?? We were at a loss.  But in a 40 year old house there is no end to the possibilities.  So, we had to resort to the good old N95's.  It's a mask similar to a respirator for those of you who have never worked with harsh chemicals or TB patients.

Yep, I like to kick down walls in my spare time.  In flip-flops.

Unfortunately, the jackhammer was so loud I did not document the removal of the concrete base of the shower.  Sincere thanks to my wonderful father.

Not done but....

I do realize that there have been no pictures of this house once we've moved in.  There is a reason that I took pictures before the furniture/boxes/junk made its way here.  That reason is that I am not generally speaking a clean freak and I am the mother of a toddler that likes to make Hansel & Gretel trails of toys everywhere she goes.  I believe there is a reason that Better Homes and Gardens does not show homes with junk everywhere and that is because no one wants to look at them.  Therefore, while we are in the process of living, I think this is the end.  Farewell.  At least until the basement starts crying out for help...