When this season of life passes, I want to remember what it was like to have a shadow all day long. I want to remember what it was like to never finish a task the first time I started it. I want to remember the joy a baby's smile brings it's mama. I want to remember the lack of silence ALL DAY LONG. I want to remember how fast they grow out of their clothes. I want to remember how I longed for five minutes to sip my coffee before it gets to the nasty lukewarm stage. I want to remember the frustration when no one picks up after themselves. I want to remember wishing I had more time. More time. And more time. Mostly more time without a baby or small child insisting on mama's attention. Like right now. I want to remember the guilt felt when I went on a date or had a girl's night because I had already left them to go to work three days that week. I want to remember trying to teach them respect and to have a good attitude in a culture that doesn't value them. I want to remember wishing other adults would hold them to the same standard of behavior that I expect from them and that they are capable of. I want to remember that some days (and weeks) you had to let the house go because other things are more important. I want to remember what its like for someone to cook you dinner. Just because. I want to remember sitting in the driveway, just to complete a conversation without a chorus in the background. I want to remember the ache of holding a deadweight in your arms all day long when they are teething. I want to remember what it feels like for people to comment on your weight. I want to remember the isolation. I want to remember what it feels like for the smallest thing to seem like a mountain. I want to remember I was not the world's best mother. I want to remember I did not have all the answers. I want to remember the days I felt like a failure. I want to remember craving time to study my bible. I want to remember the women who made life a little bit easier. I want to remember to show love, patience, and grace to other new mama's when my own are grown and remind them their time is not wasted. They are raising another generation to serve the Lord.
